A Wild Week

This week was a wild one. It started pretty slowly, with a very lazy weekend where I did little more than lie on the couch watching TV, but by midweek I was a hormonal mess and spent all day Wednesday trying to hold back tears. This was the first day I've felt this way -- crazy, scared, tired, crabby, and weepy. It was much like have PMS, all the irrational feelings. Even after a good cry at home during lunch, I didn't feel better. But Adam was very kind to me and a friend met me for coffee after work. I eventually felt better, especially on Thursday when I called in sick to work so I could stay home and rest. I'm expecting more days like that in the months ahead.

I've been trying not to be worrisome, but it's hard knowing that we aren't making a lot of money because Adam is in school, that most days I sit at my desk at work and daydream about being able to stay home and teach part-time, and that I have no clue how we're going to make it. I often wonder how everyone else does it -- has a job they don't love and kids when they're broke. And I know I shouldn't worry and that God will take care of us, but some days that's harder to accept than others. This year has been, perhaps, the worst of my life, but it occurred to me just yesterday that because this year has been so difficult, I know God in a totally different way. Maybe that's the point. All I know is that ultimately I do trust God, and I have hope that things will get better.

I ran a lot this week -- four times for a total of 12.5 miles -- and walked Penny to the library one night. I also ate a lot of ice cream (don't tell!).